A funny thing happened the other day. I was standing in my kitchen, and I suddenly said to myself, "wow...I feel good." It sounds insignificant but it is quite the contrary. Anyone dealing with Lyme will tell you that "feeling good" is something they will do anything to achieve. For the last 3 weeks, I've been able to go to my Pound class without incident, and I have more energy. My bout of insomnia that began stopped abruptly. I had one bad night of sleep and since then, have been sleeping okay. My joint pain hasn't been occurring daily, thankfully. The eye twitching has lessened. I've definitely had some off days but the good has outnumbered them lately. I feel I may be turning a corner, but I'm scared to get my hopes up. Lyme has a way of doing that to you - knocking you down when you have just gotten your feet under you. It's not abnormal for me to have a few good weeks, so I'm not banking on it, but either way, I'm thankful for any improvement.
I do think the Samsara herbs I started have caused me to herx. I doubled my dose from 1/8 tsp to 1/4 tsp and in the evenings, I've been getting intense foot pain and joint pain, muscle pain, and more eye twitching. This is a good sign, because it means the herbs are hitting Bartonella.
I'm still struggling to deal with the weight problem. I know high inflammation is likely the cause, and I've been told with treatment sometimes when you have Bartonella, you gain, and then when you get closer to remission you lose it. The only time I've ever been this weight is either while I was pregnant, or shortly after having a baby. I never stay at this weight long, I usually can drop the rest in a few months. It's been a year since I gained 14 lbs practically overnight, and I haven't been able to lose any of it. It's really humbled me and changed my perspective. I'll never ever again judge someone who is overweight. I'm sure people look at me and think I have been binge eating or I have little self-control. Quite the contrary. Sometimes I become upset that I am as big as I am, and eat such a healthy diet. I do know I am in good company, as a lot of people with Lyme & coinfections gain weight quickly and struggle to lose it. I know my thyroid may play a part in it, so I'm trying to decide if I want to increase my meds. Since I've been feeling better lately, I may try to add in another gym day during the week. Currently I'm managing two nights a week and doing well.
I've been thinking about some of the things I am going to change as I start feeling better. I've always lived my life on the safe side. I typically don't take big risks, because it makes me uncomfortable. I say "someday" a lot. I'm hoping to change that. I love to travel, and instead of saying "someday when the kids are older..." I want to just jump in and do it now. Being sick reminds you of your own mortality, and how fleeting life is. I want to stop waiting for conditions to be perfect in order for me to do what I've always dreamed of doing. I guess you could say, I've become more motivated and my perspective has shifted. Why wait?
I do think the Samsara herbs I started have caused me to herx. I doubled my dose from 1/8 tsp to 1/4 tsp and in the evenings, I've been getting intense foot pain and joint pain, muscle pain, and more eye twitching. This is a good sign, because it means the herbs are hitting Bartonella.
I'm still struggling to deal with the weight problem. I know high inflammation is likely the cause, and I've been told with treatment sometimes when you have Bartonella, you gain, and then when you get closer to remission you lose it. The only time I've ever been this weight is either while I was pregnant, or shortly after having a baby. I never stay at this weight long, I usually can drop the rest in a few months. It's been a year since I gained 14 lbs practically overnight, and I haven't been able to lose any of it. It's really humbled me and changed my perspective. I'll never ever again judge someone who is overweight. I'm sure people look at me and think I have been binge eating or I have little self-control. Quite the contrary. Sometimes I become upset that I am as big as I am, and eat such a healthy diet. I do know I am in good company, as a lot of people with Lyme & coinfections gain weight quickly and struggle to lose it. I know my thyroid may play a part in it, so I'm trying to decide if I want to increase my meds. Since I've been feeling better lately, I may try to add in another gym day during the week. Currently I'm managing two nights a week and doing well.
I've been thinking about some of the things I am going to change as I start feeling better. I've always lived my life on the safe side. I typically don't take big risks, because it makes me uncomfortable. I say "someday" a lot. I'm hoping to change that. I love to travel, and instead of saying "someday when the kids are older..." I want to just jump in and do it now. Being sick reminds you of your own mortality, and how fleeting life is. I want to stop waiting for conditions to be perfect in order for me to do what I've always dreamed of doing. I guess you could say, I've become more motivated and my perspective has shifted. Why wait?
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