Grateful & Joyful

It's been a few weeks since I have sat down to write. I've actually been feeling better. It's like coming out of a coma, after those 3 horrendous weeks of pain, anxiety & depression to where I am now. I feel normal now, back to being the grateful, positive person I know I am. When I was down, life was dark. I couldn't even find the joy in the things I normally enjoy doing. I felt like life was a monotone grey. It's the hardest thing to explain, unless you've experienced it yourself.

Yesterday, we took the kids to the apple orchard to pick apples and get pumpkins. Then we carved out pumpkins outside - it was over 70 degrees! - and enjoyed a leisurely afternoon together. It was much-needed. We originally were going to go to New Hampshire for the weekend, but I'm glad we didn't. We also had invitations to a few gatherings, but I knew mentally I couldn't do it. Sometimes we just need time to recharge as a family.

I've been taking teasel root for a week or two. Teasel draws spirochetes and other bacteria out of your tissues so the antibiotics can kill them. I am up to 3 drops, 3 times daily. It's definitely caused me to herx; for the last 4 or 5 days, around 2:30 I begin to have joint pain in my hands, knees & hip flexors, and my feet ache badly, up through the time I go to bed. So I believe the teasel is killing Bartonella since those are my typical Bartonella symptoms. I've been handling it well, and taking activated charcoal in the middle of the night, which I believe is helping quite a bit.

I'm nowhere close to remission, but I'm enjoying not feeling completely awful all the time. Every day I still deal with pain, and symptoms, but I'm able to enjoy my life. I just have to be careful not to overdo it. I'm constantly trying to keep the balance, with my family, my business, exercise, etc. My mental, emotional & physical health get quickly out of whack when I'm too busy, or taking on too much.

Sometimes it's hard to say no, especially to good things, but I've begun to truly trust my own instincts on what my body and mind need in order to heal.