Overcoming the victim mentality

I always feel so inspired when I hear stories of people overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds. Amputees running marathons, people born without limbs learning to skateboard and live a normal life, people struck by a life-ending diagnosis that spend the rest of their time on earth helping others instead of wallowing in self-pity. Those people, no doubt, have had the victim mentality at one time or another. They just made the choice to not live that way. 

Those with chronic illnesses will go through the 7 stages of grief in the aftermath of their diagnosis. The 7 stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, & acceptance. Unfortunately, many people get stuck and cycle through the same stages over and over again, sometimes never reaching acceptance. Each stage is important to overcoming the diagnosis, but remaining stagnant in one stage can inhibit your emotional & physical healing, and lead you to believe you are a victim.

When someone is overcome with the victim mentality, they will become bitter, resentful, depressed, and find it difficult, if not impossible, to be happy for others. This mentality is a toxic poison that will seep into every part of your being. There's a saying that what you send out, you will receive in return. I don't know if I believe that exactly, but the point is that the more you speak and think negatively, the more miserable life will be. Which in turn, further feeds the victim mentality. It's a vicious cycle that people remain in either because they don't know how to overcome it, or because they simply don't want to. 

I was often plagued with misery (why me?) and the unfairness of being sick while other people were living their lives. It would have been easy to stay in that place. As ridiculous as it sounds, bitterness and resentment can feel like a safe place to hide. But in hiding, we are missing out on a chance to explore our inner strength. 

No one chooses to be chronically ill. But we can choose how we respond to it. I chose to bring positivity into my life again. I recognized how much power my thoughts and words have over my body, and began to see how some of the things I was exposing myself to were harming rather than helping. I stopped visiting Lyme support groups on FB, which often become forums of misery-sharing and constant negativity. I stopped reading books and watching documentaries about Lyme. I stopped thinking about it all the time, and instead began shifting my focus to how I can positively support my physical, mental & emotional self. This meant eating healthy foods, listening to my body, limiting time with draining people, starting a daily yoga practice, surrounding myself with like-minded friends, finding creative outlets. In time, I was able to see that there were many positives that came from getting sick, and I'm at a place of truly feeling thankful for it, which is funny because I remember a time when I couldn't even fathom being where I am now. The personal growth I've experienced has been huge for such a short amount of time. 

Whatever challenges you are facing today, no matter how impossible they seem, approach them with a positive mindset. Stop focusing on what you can't do, and focus on what you can do. Don't stop at healthy eating and exercising; really self-reflect, pay attention to the things that cause discontent in your soul - and make a change. We often hold on to things that no longer serve us out of comfort and habit. Be brave enough to let those things go. 

But whatever you do, never own the title of victim. Know without a shadow of a doubt that you are a warrior, and keep on fighting.