Joy comes in the morning

I've been doing some soul searching. I've written before about how important positivity is, and being in the right mental state can make or break your treatment. It's so easy to focus on the negatives when daily, you are faced with the pain and symptoms that constantly remind you that your life is not the same as it once was. It's so present, with me all the time. But I am realizing that I cannot allow these diseases to define me.

Having a chronic illness has taught me invaluable lessons. It has taught me to never take my health for granted. It has taught me to take care of my body and pay special attention to what goes in it. It has taught me greater appreciation for the important things in life. It has showed me who my true friends are. It has taught me to be my own advocate.

I need more positivity in my life. On my good days, it's easy to be positive and upbeat. I start to believe I may be turning a corner, until my legs get pulled out from under me again. But it is on those days that the positivity really counts.

Today, I slowed down. I purposely took the time to look around me and see what brings me joy.

I am thankful for my family. My children are healthy right now. Someday, they may have to deal with the same diseases I am fighting, which is one of my biggest fears. But today, they are happy and healthy. Their smiles are what keeps me going. They are my reason for fighting.

I am thankful for the little piece of paradise we own here in the country. For many Lyme sufferers, the woods becomes a place of fear, due to the association of ticks and their suffering. It is still a haven for me. I refuse to live in fear.

I am thankful that I have the means to afford treatment, even though it makes money tight. I am thankful for supportive friends and family, but especially my husband. He has been my rock even when he hasn't been sure how to help.

I'm fighting. I'm alive. And I'm grateful.

"Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning." - Psalm 30:5