2019 sparked the beginning of a beautiful journey. A journey deep within myself, to places I had long forgotten existed. I saw, for the first time, how much of my life was lived for others. For their approval, their validation, their amusement. My decades-long tendency toward people-pleasing had left me imprisoned in a cell of my own making.
This year, I began to tear those walls down. For the first time, I asked myself - Who am I? What do I want? What do I believe? What do I want out of life? I stripped away the things that did not fit me and opened myself up to the things that did. Every belief I held was examined, every desire, every dream...I left no stone unturned. It has been a journey of transformation, and, like the process of transformation always is, it was fraught with pain, frustration, and difficulty. Working on your inner shit isn't for the faint of heart. We spend so long running from our pain, it rarely occurs to us to turn around and embrace it. But in order to move forward, evolve and grow, that's exactly what we need to do.
I'm learning how to live my life on my own terms. It's like someone has suddenly opened my eyes to my potential; I have a new, unquenchable thirst for knowledge, experiences, and adventure. I see my life as something I create, not something others have mapped out for me to follow. I began exploring by throwing myself into something I have always loved: music. I attended 14 concerts this year, and to say I had the time of my life is an understatement. Not only did I get to see one of my bucket list bands, Staind, but I saw Shinedown four more times, and was introduced to Blacktop Mojo, who have become one of my absolute favorite bands (plus they are also really fun, awesome guys) I celebrated my 33rd birthday with a whale watch, which I've been wanting to do for a long time. I definitely went out of my comfort zone and stared to venture out to trying new things, and it's been so much fun.
They say whatever you focus on, the universe will attract to you. I have found that to be true with the people that have come into my life this year. It's truly crazy how many people I have met that are walking a journey similar to the one I am on. Or the amount of ridiculously awesome people who I met because of music. Some of you I've only known a few months, but feel like I've known for years. I am beyond thankful for you all.
My rock, my husband. Our marriage has grown and thrived this year as we've both learned so much about ourselves and how to relate to each other. I cannot even begin to explain just how grateful I am that he has held space for me to evolve and change. Never once have I felt unsupported in any way. It's been quite a ride, but he has been steady through it all. And our kids! You want a catalyst for growth? Have kids. They have taught me so much this year and helped me to become a better person. I am beyond proud of them.
And the last thing I want to address, is my health. This year, treating Lyme has felt a lot like inching toward the finish line. The good news is, starting January 1st, I'm beginning to wean off of my herbs. We will be lowering my dose, and seeing how my body does. If all goes well...I'll be in remission from Lyme this year.
I don't make resolutions anymore...but I can tell you I am running into 2020 with open arms. I cannot wait to see what's in store for me.
This year, I began to tear those walls down. For the first time, I asked myself - Who am I? What do I want? What do I believe? What do I want out of life? I stripped away the things that did not fit me and opened myself up to the things that did. Every belief I held was examined, every desire, every dream...I left no stone unturned. It has been a journey of transformation, and, like the process of transformation always is, it was fraught with pain, frustration, and difficulty. Working on your inner shit isn't for the faint of heart. We spend so long running from our pain, it rarely occurs to us to turn around and embrace it. But in order to move forward, evolve and grow, that's exactly what we need to do.
I'm learning how to live my life on my own terms. It's like someone has suddenly opened my eyes to my potential; I have a new, unquenchable thirst for knowledge, experiences, and adventure. I see my life as something I create, not something others have mapped out for me to follow. I began exploring by throwing myself into something I have always loved: music. I attended 14 concerts this year, and to say I had the time of my life is an understatement. Not only did I get to see one of my bucket list bands, Staind, but I saw Shinedown four more times, and was introduced to Blacktop Mojo, who have become one of my absolute favorite bands (plus they are also really fun, awesome guys) I celebrated my 33rd birthday with a whale watch, which I've been wanting to do for a long time. I definitely went out of my comfort zone and stared to venture out to trying new things, and it's been so much fun.
They say whatever you focus on, the universe will attract to you. I have found that to be true with the people that have come into my life this year. It's truly crazy how many people I have met that are walking a journey similar to the one I am on. Or the amount of ridiculously awesome people who I met because of music. Some of you I've only known a few months, but feel like I've known for years. I am beyond thankful for you all.
My rock, my husband. Our marriage has grown and thrived this year as we've both learned so much about ourselves and how to relate to each other. I cannot even begin to explain just how grateful I am that he has held space for me to evolve and change. Never once have I felt unsupported in any way. It's been quite a ride, but he has been steady through it all. And our kids! You want a catalyst for growth? Have kids. They have taught me so much this year and helped me to become a better person. I am beyond proud of them.
And the last thing I want to address, is my health. This year, treating Lyme has felt a lot like inching toward the finish line. The good news is, starting January 1st, I'm beginning to wean off of my herbs. We will be lowering my dose, and seeing how my body does. If all goes well...I'll be in remission from Lyme this year.
I don't make resolutions anymore...but I can tell you I am running into 2020 with open arms. I cannot wait to see what's in store for me.
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