Refuse to sink - My journey battling Lyme disease

Two years ago on this day, I began treatment for Lyme disease, Bartonella & Babesia. They've been two of the hardest years of my life. I cried so many tears, I had days of debilitating depression and anxiety, I experienced loss of emotions (I felt very flat, emotionally speaking) and the pain...so much pain. Taking 30+ pills a day and spending hundreds every month in the hopes of getting rid of the more than 40 symptoms I was dealing with. I lost friends, I stayed home like a recluse, I wondered a million times if I was going crazy. And yet when I look back, I see a time of tremendous personal growth. I look at who I am now and know without a doubt I wouldn't be here if it weren't for getting sick. They say pain is a gift, and I tend to agree. No one escapes pain, it's part of life. But it's in our pain and dark times that we discover our inner strength, and who really are. These things aren't learned by life being easy. Seeing how far I've come s...

During my last consult, after talking about the constant pain and tightness in my shoulders, neck and jaw, my herbalist suggested I see a chiropractor to make sure nothing "mechanical" is going on. It worked out that Justin had just started seeing one so I made an appointment with him and saw him last week for the first time. He confirmed that everything from my mid-upper back and up was very tight. He said all of the muscles in my shoulders, neck, and chest are working together very hard just to hold my head up. This makes a lot of sense, because I have so much muscle weakness in my shoulders. He adjusted me and gave me some ideas on how to stretch certain muscles and how to fix my posture. I'm honestly feeling relieved and encouraged after seeing him. With Lyme, you get so used to doctors not finding anything wrong (even though you know things aren't right) that it is actually nice to how concrete proof of what's causing your pain. I'm wondering if all thi...

This last month was a rough one. I herxed almost continually every single day; the same pain in my shoulders, neck & jaw, and my air hunger returned. I had my monthly consult a couple days ago, and she thinks it's time to back off and only add in houttuynia every other month, like we do with the sida acuda. She said the constant herxing isn't necessarily a bad sign, but it is a stress to the body. We also believe stopping the intermittent fasting contributed to the herxing. The last few days I unintentionally did 12 hour overnight fasts and noticed a huge decrease in my herxing symptoms, so I believe my body really needs those extra hours to detox. We agreed that I'm going to do 12 hour fasts 3 non-consecutive days a week, because we know my body really needs the fasting but we also need to keep my hormones at healthy levels. It's always a challenge keeping the right balance for my body. I felt so discouraged all month, and it was really taking a toll on my positi...

I had a great follow-up consult with my herbalist Friday. She continues to be happy with my progress and thinks by July I'll be ready to wean off of my antimicrobial herbs, although I'll continue taking core support herbs. I have to have 3 months symptom free to be considered in remission. I was really excited about the prospect of remission being so close, and I posted something on FB about it. What no one saw behind that post, is that I've been dealing with a lot of pain, flares and herxing lately. Even though I'm supposedly near remission, I certainly haven't been feeling like it this last week. I mentioned in my last post about how going off of intermittent fasting threw my body into a hormonal crisis of some sort. It's also affected my Lyme symptoms, and I'm not sure exactly what is what, I'm just trying to give my body time to adjust. I woke up almost a full week ago with terrible neck pain, and it has continued daily ever since. I didn't h...

In my last post I talked about how I believed intermittent fasting was behind my hormonal imbalances. About a week after I stopped IF, I was riding the hormonal crazy train - depression, irritability, crying for no reason. I felt like I did postpartum after having my babies, it was absolutely insane! But it proved to me that IF was messing with my hormones. It also threw me into a Lyme flare, I was getting a lot of pain in my hips, legs, and even my hands. And now, two weeks after quitting IF, I feel like my body has adjusted for the most part. I'm not having the crazy mood swings and feeling back to normal. I'm sure it'll take at least a month for my body to fully adjust, but right now I'm just glad I'm feeling myself again.  Last week was a great week for concerts! I went to see Disturbed and Three Days Grace on Wednesday, and then Saturday saw Papa Roach and Shinedown. I went alone to the Shinedown concert, which is totally out of my comfort zone. I've bee...

The biggest super moon of the year just passed by. I was extremely surprised at how well I fared; typically in the week leading up to a full moon, I feel off and have an increase in symptoms, especially air hunger. This time, I had one night of insomnia plus felt a bit off the following day. This is really exciting to me because it shows tangible proof of how much I've improved.  I recently watched a documentary on Netflix called "Heal." I highly recommend it to everyone, especially those dealing with illness. It was about the mind-body connection and how our bodies desire to heal themselves, but our minds often get in the way. One of the women they interviewed spoke of 9 common healing factors they found people with cancer had in common. Here they are: It was absolutely crazy to me as these are all things I have naturally adopted in my Lyme journey. When I started doing these, I really began to see things turn around. It was really quite incredible to hear tha...

As of this month, I've been treating for 20 months. Almost two years already! I remember about 3 months into treatment, I had a couple good weeks. I thought to myself, wow! Looks like I'm already healing! I laugh at that now, because that was just the beginning. Healing isn't quick, and it isn't predictable. The only predictable part, is the unpredictability. No two healing journeys are the same. Almost two years, and I've not yet made it to remission. I'm honestly not bothered by that, because I know I'll get there. The year of antibiotics put me in a place where I was much more functional. I don't care if the herbs take a while, because I am already in such a better place. Here is my master list of symptoms. I know there are likely some that never made it on here, but this is most of them. Symptoms in bold I still currently have, but none of them are 100% constant. Symptoms in italics are intermittent. I don't have them more often than I have...